Commuting Madness

We have one car, so Ethan drives me to the Metro station because I refuse to take the bus and he refuses to let me take the car to the parking garage for the day (on his telecommute days). Compromise, Ethan chauffeurs me to and from the metro station (about 10- 30  min.) or we drive together and take the Metro together. We get to take the carpool lane (which my inner hippie likes); however, we are slowly digressing into madness...

Some days it's just silence and I look at my phone.
Some days we listen to NPR and then bitch about politics.

My favorite days involve singing, and you know I have the voice of an angel.

As of late, we've taken to making up alternative (dirty) lyrics to songs. We're onto holiday songs now. It's immature and borderline blasphemous now (Silent Night, forever unclean).

The other day we tried to remember the (dirty) lyrics to his old frat song. I only remembered "I placed my hand upon her thigh and she said Pi Kapp, you're much too high." I don't even know if that's remotely correct. I did place my hand upon Ethan's thigh while he was driving for full effect.

I also sing "Big Booty Hos, Hump Wit I!t" almost every time we go over the traffic calming device by the Metro (in all fairness there is a big road sign that says humps ahead).

 

I tried to probe him for his favorite band (for the Nov. Boys Behind the Blog link up). I suggested Poison (because I know he hates them) which led to Bell Biv Devoe. My new tag line is "never trust a big butt and a smile" then I twerk it out of the car.

 

The worst was when a deer ran into us. I freaked and started screaming that E hit a person. (I really thought he did.)

Pubic Transportation Memories

1. From my Facebook post Friday. We’re crossing the bridge (which means we’re headed to Virginia) and a woman takes out her earbuds and says “oh my God, oh my God.” I figure she’s on the wrong train. She still is saying “oh my God” and looking shocked, so I asked her if she was OK. She loudly says “that man is exposing himself”. I looked down (I was standing), but didn’t see anything (i.e. no visible wieners). She couldn’t say anything and the guy had a book bag in his lap. We gave her a number to call that’s posed on the Metro and he got off at the next stop (As did she). Reception was bad, so we don’t know if he got caught. (DC)

2. Sitting on a quiet early morning train, when a woman's daughter loudly says "Mommy, I have to poop really bad!" I will start to drive as soon as I find out I am preggers. (DC)

3. A little kid in a stroller sneezes, then wipes his giant, wet booger on the holding pole. (DC)

4. Feeling tired and motion sick and resting my head on the cool pole I am hanging onto and remembering #2. (DC)

5. People not showering, wearing deodorant, or brushing their teeth before boarding a crowded train (DC and NYC)

6. A young man sits next to me and says nice purse. I am listening to my iPod, I take out my earbuds and say thanks. Put earuds back in. He then taps me on the shoulder *sigh*. He asks what stop I get off at. I tell him (should have told him to bugger off then).  He asks for a restaurant recommendation. This is what happens when you let then start.  Then begins the inquisition, what's my name, what do you do, are you married, etc.
Turns out he is studying to be a priest (OK, Catholic is in DC).  Then we get deep, am I Catholic, do I go to Church, do I believe in God, how's my marriage working out, why don't I have kids.  I sweating bullets by the time I got off. That's what I get for trying to be polite because I thought he was a future priest. It makes me think of a book I just read, Hold Tight, and a murderer is planning out his crime and is banking on people ignoring their instincts to choose social niceties/ politeness. Creepy right?! (DC)

7. I left work ill in the middle of the day, and boarded a relatively empty train. A young couple was in the corner seat. The young tramp was furiously expressing her love and devotion to her man, in his lap, under his jacket. (NYC)

Have you ever taken public transportation- what are some of your favorite “memories”?

Stayin' Warm

This morning was freezing. I saw one girl with bare legs but I was dying in nylons and my winter coat. I actually wished I had worn gloves. I'm sorta a wuss though. E said he would choose my dad or brothers over me to be a partner in the Amazing Race.

As I stood on a windy Metro platform, I pondered all the fun ways I could warm myself up.

1. Quit shaving my legs and get a nice warm, soft fur. I suppose I should have started this last month or so.

2. Along with the above, I need to give up nylons in favor of pants.

These are pretty cute though right?

3. Drink a glass (or 2) or red wine of liquor (otherwise know as "warm me up juice") before I leave for work. Morning are cold yo.

4. Start eating chocolate and carbs for some winter weight to keep me warmer. Bears do it. 

5. Carry my warm, fuzzy cats around in a Baby Bjorn.

Right, I can't pick up my f*ing cats without them howling like I am torturing them. Let me tell you, the vet is fun.

Also, why in God's name does my iPhone weather App show it sunny & 73 degrees?

Good thing I'm headed to Tennessee this weekend and the forecast high for the weekend is 70 :)





Frankenstorm Follow-up

Frankenstorm (aka Sandy) has brought 2 days out of work and partial power and I have turned into a slovenly hog.
We have no heat, so I am wearing multiple layers of sweats. (This also means no hot water = no hot shower = think about it)

The finest in sexy lounge wear ;)

There's nothing to do but eat, so that's what I've been doing... I'm saying that I NEED to save the freezer food, like all the popsicles.

My saving grace is that the TV worked in out living room, so I made the couch my fallout shelter. In between watching movies all day, I took cat pictures and annoyed E.

I am so thankful that Sandy has just been boring for us. I am definitely thinking of my peeps in NYC & NJ and hope they get back to normal soon!

Metro Chic

Just finished

Reading currently

I hate my commute. The cost is subsidised and we can't afford another car right now, so I do it (with a lot of complaining). 



I actually don't mind riding the Metro. I usually have a seat and can get my read on.         

 

It's getting to the Metro stop with all my crap that sucks. I walk 3/4 of a mile to a bus stop and then wait like Forrest Gump. Anyhoo, when inclement weather presents itself, one must be prepared.

Cute purple rain boots- check

Matching colorful chevron umbrella- check

Horribly nerdy book bag with lunch and gym clothes- check











Living with a child

Wed. 7:30pm
Kim: I'm tired and sick. I didn't sleep last night.
E: That's because you're sick.
Kim: I'm not getting any better. I hope it's not the beginnings of something else. I hope I don't have a flesh eating bacteria. I saw it on the Today show, I think it starts with flu-like symptoms. I have these itchy bumps on my leg too.
E: You have a head cold.
Kim: I'm getting on the Internet.
E: Not a good idea.
Kim: Oh god, it could be anything.
E getting up: I'm going to make dinner then.
Kim: I can't eat, only ice cream. Will you bring me some, I'm too tired to get up.
E starts the food processor: Can't hear you.